The Weasley family is an insufferable litter of chicken farming dirt mongers who deserve death in the most painful ways. Especially that wanker in my year.

Granger is an ugly, shrubbery-headed, Mudblood shrew. One day, she will pay for smacking me. She only gets good marks because she's got some sort of memorizing charm on herself. I KNOW it.

Snape is the only fair professor at Hogwarts. Might I also take this opportunity to comment on his fantastic teaching techniques and always-suave appearance. (Waves to Professor Snape!)

Pansy Parkinson? You want to know what I really think of her? Too bad. But if you want to write stories about us, that is all right, as long as I get to go up her shirt.

If you put me in a romantic story with Granger, and I find out about it, I will hunt you down and see you hexed. No, cursed. No. DEAD.

Of course I'm not dating Ginny Weasley. (snicker)

As long as I've got your attention, Weasel, you lanky, ugly, spotty git, I would like to say that if you ARE on the Quidditch team next year, then I will shove you off your broom and enjoy the sound of your neck breaking. And by the way, if you're too thick to see that Mudblood throwing herself at you, then you deserve to lose her to your four-eyed urchin friend.

Dumbledore doesn't know everything.

Smart girls choose ME.

This one's for the ladies - one time, a hippogriff almost killed me, but I fought it off alone and survived. Amazing, aren't I?

I saw the movie. That's NOT my hair.