Meet Draco Malfoy! Stallion of His Year, Mastermind Above All Other Hogwarts Students, Heir of All Worldly Malfoy Greatness!

Turn Ons: Mirrors, Cursing, Hexing, Mocking, Sneering, Smirking, Simpering, Going Pale, Going Slightly Pink, Eye-Narrowing, Flying, Seeking, Winning, Beating, Destroying, Stealing, Lying, Cheating, Tattling, Tricking, Sniggering, Commanding, Getting Sympathy, Tormenting Weasleys, Bashing Mudbloods, Hating Potter, and Dressing Like a Vicar.

Turn-Offs: Weasleys, Mudbloods, Ugly Little Scars, Losing Points, Leather, Too Much Hair Gel, Coming Second to Granger, Missing the Snitch, Getting Turned into a Ferret and Bounced About by Professors.

What He Hopes to Become: "I want to be just like my dad. He's my hero."

What He Hopes to Accomplish: "Well, I'm easily satisfied, you know. As long as I have some small part in Potter's eventual destruction, I'll be a very happy man. Also, I would like a hot wife and a bigger group of followers. Your average hopes, really."